Fill out the form and make sure you can remember the data. If the program corrects you, note the correction instead. > WEST > TAKE ALL > EAST > OPEN DOOR > TAKE WALLET > LOOK AT WALLET > GIVE BEEZER CARD TO YOUNG MAN > TAKE LLAMA TREATS > OPEN DOOR > EAST > OPEN MAILBOX > TAKE MAIL > READ IT > LOOK AT STAMP > DROP LLAMA TREATS > NORTH > WEST > OPEN CASE > TAKE ADVENTURE GAME CARTRIDGE > SHOW ADVENTURE GAME CARTRIDGE TO CLERK > YES > LOOK AT SOFTWARE CARTRIDGE > GIVE ADVENTURE GAME CARTRIDGE TO CLERK > DROP CASE > EAST > NORTH > WEST > GIVE LETTER TO TRAVEL AGENT > TAKE TICKET > EAST > EAST > KNOCK ON DOOR > SOUTH > GIVE STAMP TO MAN > TAKE MAIL > LOOK AT MAIL Note the stamp letter and house number. > NORTH > WEST > SOUTH > EAST > WAIT > YES > RAW > NO > NO > NO > NO > SALAD > NO > YES > BEER > DARK > NO > WAIT > YES > RAW > NO > NO > NO > NO > SALAD > NO > YES > BEER > DARK > NO > YES > WAIT Repeat until the waiter serves you your burger. > EAT BURGER > SOUTH > WEST > TAKE LLAMA TREATS > SOUTH > RING DOORBELL > NORTH > EAST > SOUTH > OPEN DOOR > WEST > SOUTH > TAKE PAINTING > NORTH > SHOW PAINTING TO MACAW > TAKE MAIL > LOOK AT IT Note the stamp letter and house number. > DROP PAINTING > EAST > NORTH > WEST > SOUTH > SOUTH > OPEN LLAMA TREATS > OPEN MAILBOX > LOOK IN MAILBOX > PUT LLAMA TREATS IN MAILBOX > TAKE MAIL > LOOK AT IT Note the stamp letter and house number. > SOUTH > WAIT > NORTH > WEST > WAIT > UNFORTUNATELY, THERE’S A RADIO CONNECTED TO MY BRAIN > WAIT > EAST > SOUTH > ACTUALLY, IT’S THE BBC CONTROLLING US FROM LONDON > SOUTH Answer the questions from Popular Paranoia correctly.^[+]

Question	Answer
By what percentage do students who exchange digital watches with multiple partners increase their chances of contracting bubonic plague?	300
What chemical is the international health conspiracy using to destroy our valuable body fat?	Aspartame
What do Ronald Wilson Reagan, Daniel Miguel Ortega, Dwight Eugene Gooden, and Johnny Herman Carson have in common (and are a menace because of it)?	666
What device is being used to keep track of the whereabouts of American citizens?	ATM
Where is the center of communist insurgency in United States?	Ohio
The existence of which of one of the fifty states of the union is a fiction invented by the Trilateral Commission for its own nefarious purposes?	Delaware
What left-leaning organization foiled the coup d’état directly after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, leading to decades of cryptocommunist government in America?	NFL
What is the breeding ground for most major diseases?	Yogurt
How do they learn so much about you?	Garbage
What local government-subsidized program poses the greatest threat to home privacy?	Cable TV
What is Mexico unleashing on the United States for refusing to give them a major league baseball franchise?	Killer bees
What secret FBI surveillance method is masquerading under the guise of public service?	Traffic helicopters
Who is their leader?	Queen Mum
What well-meaning legislation was actually a communist-inspired plot to destroy the American family?	GI bill
How are the dentists of America conspiring to destroy the minds of our children?	Novocaine

> CUT BARS WITH HACKSAW > LOOK AT SWISS ARMY KNIFE > PUSH BUTTON > PULL LEVER > TAKE POWER SAW > PLUG POWER SAW INTO PORTABLE GENERATOR > SIT ON GENERATOR > GIVE POWER SAW TO WEIRDO > NORTH > WAIT > WAIT > UP > TAKE MAIL > LOOK AT IT Note the stamp letter and house number. > OPEN ENVELOPE > LOOK AT MEMO > TAKE CHEQUE > LOOK AT CHEQUE > NORTH > NORTH > NORTH > NORTH > NORTH > NORTH Wait until the bank opens. > NORTH > NORTH Find the withdrawal window. > YES > FILL OUT WITHDRAWAL SLIP Fill out the information to withdraw $75, not for illegal activity. Find the deposit window. > NO > GIVE WITHDRAWAL SLIP TO TELLER > GIVE CHEQUE TO TELLER > SHOW BEEZER CARD TO TELLER Find the withdrawal window. > WITHDRAW MONEY > YES > FILL OUT WITHDRAWAL SLIP Fill out the information to withdraw $75. > GIVE WITHDRAWAL SLIP TO TELLER > SHOW BEEZER CARD TO TELLER > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > WEST > WEST > OPEN ADDRESS BOOK > READ PAGE THREE Note the number of Getlost Airport Cab. DIAL the number of Getlost Airport Cab. Type the last name you filled out the original form with. > AIRPORT Type the street name you filled out the original form with. Type the house number you filled out the original form with. > WAIT Repeat until the man hangs up. > EAST > EAST > WAIT Repeat until the Getlost cab pulls up in front of you. > ENTER CAB > YES > SHOW BEEZER CARD TO DRIVER > YES > WAIT > WAIT > GIVE $20 TO DRIVER > NORTH > NORTH > READ SIGN > SOUTH > SOUTH > EAST Repeat until you are at an entrance where Air Zalagasa is not mentioned. > NORTH > NORTH > WAIT Repeat until the clerk talks to you. > GIVE TICKET TO CLERK > DIRECT > SOUTH > CLIMB PILLAR > CLIMB PILLAR > OPEN GRATE > UP > SOUTH > EAST > NORTH > OPEN GRATE > EAST > CONTROLLER, DENY PERMISSION > WEST > SOUTH > WEST > NORTH > DOWN > PULL RED WIRE > PULL BLACK WIRE > CONNECT RED WIRE TO BLACK WIRE > DOWN > DOWN > TAKE AIRLINE MAGAZINE AND SAFETY CARD > READ AIRLINE MAGAZINE > LOOK AT SAFETY CARD > WAIT Repeat until dinner is served. > FILET > YES > YES > STAND UP > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SHOW AIRLINE MAGAZINE TO BABY > DROP AIRLINE MAGAZINE > SIT IN SEAT C > PUSH LIGHT BUTTON Note you are escorted back to seat 3B. Note the food is spilled. > TAKE LAMINATED CARD > READ LAMINATED CARD > STAND UP > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > SOUTH > ANSWER PHONE > YES > YES > YES Wait until the attendant arrives. > ASK ATTENDANT FOR STINGLAI KA’ABI > LIFT HATCH > PULL HATCH > WAIT > KNOCK ON HATCH > PULL CORD > WAIT Repeat until you land in the tree. > CUT STRAPS WITH HACKSAW > PUT RECIPE CARTRIDGE IN BOYSERBERRY COMPUTER > LEAVE COOKING POT > LOOK AT LOCKER DOOR > READ SIGN > TURN LEFT HANDLE AND MIDDLE HANDLE > TURN LEFT HANDLE AND RIGHT HANDLE > TURN LEFT HANDLE AND MIDDLE HANDLE > OPEN LOCKER DOOR > WEST > TAKE MAGNETIC KEY-CARD > EAST > PUT UNLABELLED CARTRIDGE IN BOYSENBERRY COMPUTER Type the commands PRINTB, PRINTC, PRINTD and PRINTE corresponding to the stamp letters, in descending order of of house numbers. Read the instruction top to bottom, left to right. > QUIT > EAST Note the number of the room. > NORTH Note the number of the next room. Calculate the difference between the current and previous room number. Note the last digit of the difference. If the last digit is 0: > EAST If the last digit is 1: > SOUTH If the last digit is 2: > UP If the last digit is 3: > NORTH If the last digit is 4: > DOWN If the last digit is 5: > WEST Repeat the procedure until you reach the airlock. > PUT MAGNETIC KEY-CARD IN AIRLOCK DOOR SLOT > OPEN DOOR Repeat until the door opens. > NORTH > WEST > WEST > WEST > OPEN ADDRESS BOOK > READ PAGE ONE > WEST > PLUG BOYSENBERRY COMPUTER INTO MODULAR PLUG > RANDOM-Q-HACKER > RAINBOW-TURTLE > DIR > RUN > PLANE.EXE > WHO > TYP > DVH2.HAK Repeat until a message appears about another user. Note which filename the user is about to use. > REN > DVH2.HAK Enter the filename the user is about the use. > Y > DIR Repeat until the DVH2 shuts down. > WEST > UP > WAIT > WAIT > WEST > SOUTH > SOUTH > WEST > TAKE NEW LETTER > READ NEW LETTER